I Should Tell
by Angel of Music lover
Summary: Companion piece to Without You, Kate although you don't have to read that before this. Picking up where the show left off only to the ballad called I Should Tell You from RENT. Jate.


**A/N: Hello you LOST junkies! This is a companion piece to "Without You, Jack" because someone suggested a fluff filled sequel. Anyway, it's another RENT songfic only this time I'm using the song "I Should Tell You" because it's probably one of the happiest ballads in the whole freaking play. (ahem) Anyway, please read and enjoy and if you can find it in you, review! Also, this will be more in Jack's point of view hopefully while "Without You, Jack" was more Kate. You will be warned though, this fic is bittersweet. **

**Disclaimer: LOST belongs to… those guys that write it and RENT belongs to the late Jonathon Larson. Not me. **

Kate and Sawyer were running frantically through the jungle and hoping beyond hope that there was a boat nearby. Kate clutched the walkie talkie to her heart to ensure that it didn't fall… and that a little bit of Jack remained with her. Sawyer had tried to tell her that there wasn't a point in running and that there was no way to get away to the other island.

"_We'd have to be Flipper the Freaking Dolphin to get there!"_ he had said.

Kate still insisted that they tried… for Jack's sake. He was risking his life for them and she didn't want to just waste that opportunity without a fight. Jack had trusted her with this and Kate wasn't willing to let him down. He hadn't trusted her with anything in such a long time… such a long time.

_I should tell you I'm disaster. I forget how to begin it. _

While Kate's strong and faithful legs carried her far away from the camp she had to fight back the tears that were threatening.

"I deserve to die there," she thought to herself. With her past she didn't deserve such an act of kindness from someone like Jack. He was the all-perfect doctor who always knew what to do. Kate had to bit down on her lip until it bled to keep herself from sobbing out loud. She didn't want to worry Sawyer who was running so closely next to her.

_Let's just make this part go faster. I have yet to be in it. I should tell you._

Jack leaned his head wearily against the glass and looked over to where Ben was lying. He remembered the conversation he had just had and hoped that Kate and Sawyer had managed to get out okay. Somehow, he had felt somewhat detached about what he had seen in the cage monitors but now the scene hit his heart full force. If _they _hadn't been watching him intently he might have actually let his knees buckle beneath him and he could let himself fall to the ground in pain.

"Sawyer's a good man…" Jack muttered to himself and in his heart knew it to be true. Then why did it still hurt him so much? Was it because he had never taken any of Kate's advances? Was it because _he _could have been that man but he had let his stupid fears get in the way? He stared at the black mechanical device that he had just talked to Kate through and in an instant of weakness wanted to reach out and grab it. He wanted to just tell Kate how much he loved her. But that would just mean that Kate would want to come back for him instead of run for freedom.

He could wait just a little longer.

_I should tell you… _

Kate looked down to where she was holding the walkie talkie and wanted to turn it on and tell Jack what she felt.

But then there was Sawyer…

Kate looked over at him and knew that part of her loved Sawyer too… almost as much as she loved Jack.

_I should tell you. I'd forgotten how to smile, until your candle burnt my skin. _

Jack looked down at his hands and tried to fight down the emotions he was experiencing. He hadn't really smiled until there had been Kate. In the beginning she was always there to make him smile when it seemed that the whole island was resting on his shoulders. She had always been there to lighten the mood and to offer a helping hand when he needed help up.

Then he had let his stupid pride get in the way and had pushed her away. Jack had been in love before but not since Sarah had it ever hurt him this much.

"Does she even love me?" the cynical part of his mind asked. Jack had to push that thought aside for now. He knew that when Kate radioed back in that she and Sawyer were safe that he would tell her what he felt. It didn't matter if she laughed or if she was really in love with Sawyer.

Jack doubted that the Others would let him live after the stunt he had pulled today. Now was the only time he had to share with her what his heart felt.

_I should tell you… I should tell you. _

Suddenly, to Kate and Sawyer's utter amazement, their eyes were met with the sight of a boat. It was small and crudely made but it had oars to push them through the water with and the other island's shores were just in sight. Kate began to laugh and cry at the same time while Sawyer just shook his head in disbelief.

"Flipper at your service," Kate whispered, more to herself than Sawyer but he still heard.

"You were right Freckles…" Kate laughed at Sawyer's tone and looked once more at the boat. The ocean sea breeze ticked her face and Kate laughed again but this time out of the true irony of the situation. The ocean was going to bring her back to her island home.

Then she remembered Jack and with trembling hands pulled out the radio.

_I should tell! Well here we go. Now we… oh no. I know this something is… here goes. _

Kate slowly climbed into the boat and pulled out the radio's antenna. With shaking fingers she turned the device on and clicked down on the button that would make her voice heard in Jack's own radio so far away.

_Here goes. Guess so, it's starting to… who knows? _

Jack heard Kate's voice through the speaker ever so faintly… as if she was exhausted or terribly sick. Jack had been counting the minutes in his head and nearly forty-nine minutes had passed since he had last heard her voice.

"Jack?" she said ever so softly and it took Jack a few minutes to process this. Finally, he clicked down on the speak button and brought his mouth down to the radio.

"Kate, I'm here," he responded in relief. _"This is it," _he thought to himself. A deep breath was drawn on the other end and finally she began to retell the story that Jack had told her so long ago.

"You were performing a surgery on a young girl… a spinal surgery. You had been working for hours and then suddenly something went wrong. You tore a sack in one of the nerves and little things like spaghetti began to spill out everywhere." To Jack it sounded like her voice had wavered for a moment before continuing on. He felt his own emotions stir to remember that day so long ago on the beach when all of this was so far away. There were no "Others" and no one had been taken away for unknown reasons.

God he missed those days.

_Who knows where? Who goes there? Who knows? Here goes?_

Kate took another pause before continuing on. She could also feel Sawyer's gaze on her back as he began to row by himself without a word. Inwardly she thanked him for letting her have this little moment to herself.

"Then you felt the terror spread over you. Before it could consume you though you decided to let it have five seconds to have its way with you. 1-2-3-4-5." Kate counted the seconds slowly, like Jack had done for her on the beach. "And then you shoved it aside and patched up the sac. The girl got out of the surgery fine," Kate finished and once more bit down on her lip to stop the tears. She heard a pause in the radio and for a minute she feared that her voice didn't make it to Jack. But finally she heard his weary sigh of relief and a little laugh come from the radio.

"Thank god you're safe Kate."

_Trusting desire—starting to learn! Walking through fire without a burn! _

Jack took a swallow and prepared himself for what he was going to say. It had to be quick or else the Others might just change their minds to trust him with their leader. Finally, throwing caution to the wind Jack said the three words that he had wanted to say to Kate since his time on the island.

"I love you." Jack winced a little and waited for her reply.

_Clinging—a shoulder a leap begins. Stinging and older, asleep on pins!_

Kate's breath caught in her throat and for a moment her heart seemed to stop beating. She even felt herself tip dangerously to one side before catching herself on the side of the boat. She didn't notice Sawyer's downward cast gaze or the look of twisted pain that crossed his face.

Finally, Kate regained her senses to hear Jack babbling a little into the mouthpiece.

"I know this isn't the ideal time and place to be telling you this and that you've got Sawyer now but…" Kate gave a little laugh and then pushed down on the button to give her reply.

"Jack!" she interrupted and smiled a little. "I love you too." Sawyer closed his eyes a little and kept on rowing, pretending that he didn't hear. Kate instantly felt two emotions course through her. One was guilt, the man who had just said those same words to her last night was in the same boat with her. The other was joy that she and Jack had finally been honest with each other.

_So here we go… _

Jack laughed and tilted his head back. It was then that he saw Juliet's gaze and the few others with her start to motion to him to hurry it up. Ben had a little less than ten minutes left.

"Now go Kate." Those were the other three hardest words that Jack ever had to say in his lifetime.

_Who knows where? Who goes there?... _

Kate let out a little sob and then suddenly she pushed down the little button again.

"No Jack! We're going back for you!" she said fiercely and turned to look back at Sawyer. He appeared not to have heard anything she just said… although Kate knew it was an act.

"Kate…" came the tired reply. "If we were anywhere else in any other situation I would hug you so close and never leave your side again… I will love you forever but you have to let me go. Sawyer is a good man." Sawyer smiled a little through his pain and silently thanked the doc for the one compliment.

"Jack…"

_Here goes… _

"Goodbye Kate." Jack then wearily set down the radio and went to turn it off so he could finish the surgery. Kate's voice broke through his hazy thoughts though and made his eyes well up in emotion.

"Jack! Live together die alone! Jack!" Kate screamed into the radio, her voice sounding cracked and yet still faint. Jack closed his eyes and then imagined the way she had said 'I love you'. Then he painfully turned the remote off and returned to the operating table.

_Here goes…_

Kate heard the click from the other end of the radio and threw the contraption away into the boat in frustration. Tears fell from her eyes and she buried her head in her hands. Sawyer stopped rowing for a minute and felt the way that the boat bobbed up and down with the waves.

"Oh Kate…" he murmured and felt sadness fill his heart. Somehow he knew that he would only receive part of her heart for the rest of the time they are together. Jack always had the rest of it.

_Here goes…_

Jack picked up his tools and slipped the mask that would cover his mouth with a determined force. He quickly fixed up the cut he had made in Ben's body and then went back to the tumor. Just like he had promised. He could have killed Ben but he knew that it would only make things worse for Kate and Sawyer. They might still go after them anyway but there was a greater possibility that they wouldn't if he just kept his promise.

Still he couldn't stop a few tears escaping from his eyes.

_Here goes…_

After hours of rowing Kate and Sawyer finally hit the sands of the opposite island. Kate wiped the tears away and then grabbed the radio protectively. Sawyer draped his arm around her shoulders in a comforting gesture and Kate leaned into him, for a moment pretending it was Jack. After a few minutes like this Kate pulled away and turned on the radio again desperately.

"Kate," Sawyer warned and went to grab the radio. Kate pulled it away and snapped at him.

"No," she hissed and then frantically began to speak into the mouthpiece. "Jack! Jack are you there?" she asked loudly and repeated this until she heard someone turn the other radio back on.

"Kate," a cold female voice responded. Kate paled but she persisted anyway in her errand.

"Where's Jack?" she demanded fiercely and waited for a response. The seconds it took for the cold sounding woman to respond was agony for Kate.

_Here goes…_

Juliet looked at Jack through the glass as he finally set his tools back down in the operating room. He then turned to the Others that had entered the room and allowed his hands to be retied so he could be led back to his room. Juliet then turned back to the radio and responded with the first thing that popped into her head.

"Jack is dead, Kate." Jack looked up at the glass and distinctly heard Juliet's answer. His head ached but he knew that it was for the best. Kate would only come back if she thought he was alive so this way she would stay safe.

_Here goes…_

Kate dropped the radio in despair and turned back to Sawyer. Sawyer's face was also twisted in grief and pain as Kate's was. Only this time Kate didn't let herself cry. She merely nodded to Sawyer and the two of them continued down the beach, Sawyer's arm once more draped around her and she leaning into him for support.

Kate gave one last look towards the other island before it was hidden by a strange mist.

"Goodbye love," she finally said as the island disappeared entirely and then continued on with Sawyer down the beach.

**A/N: Wow… that wasn't fluffy in the least. So sorry about that… I seem to have fallen under the influence of false advertising. Anyway, at least they told each other how they feel in this one. Actually Kate's last line is from RENT too, from a song called "Goodbye Love". So that wasn't mine either. Anyway, please review and tell me what you thought. **


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